Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Nobody would be surprised

A priest has claimed that a girl was kidnapped by the Catholic church for a sex party and then presumably murdered.  It wouldn’t be terribly surprising but the man is a known liar and idiot and there is no reason at all to take his claims seriously.

Here is one reason to not take him seriously: he claims to have done 70,000 exorcisms.

70,000. At one per day, that would take 191 years. Let’s be generous and say he’s been doing it for 50 years, one per day.  That would be 18250 exorcisms.  Nowhere near the 70k. He’d have to do three or four exorcisms a day for fifty years to get to 70,000. I don’t know about you, but I have two or three meetings a week which would blow my exorcism schedule right out the window. He was appointed to the post of exorcist (really, it’s an actual post) in 1986 and claimed the 70,000 figure in March 2010. So that works out at about 8 per day. 

That’s an impressive work ethic and a *fuckload* of demons.  And a testable claim: we just need to look at his diary.  I bet he has a secretary who could easily confirm his 8 appointments a day.  And presumably he had staff who weeded out the fake possessions so he didn’t have to waste time casting out fake demons.  He was on a pretty strict timescale, after all.

I don’t know whether Emanuela Orlandi was kidnapped by the Catholic church for a sex party.  It seems unlikely because they’ve never needed to kidnap anyone before in order to sexually abuse them.  Well, for a given definition of ‘kidnap’.  It seems more likely that Amorth is an unreliable witness or a supernaturally hard worker.

There are about 60m people in the UK. How many of us are demons?

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